Why my sister is one of my heroes

My little sister is almost 17 years old, so I guess you could say, she's not so little any more, but to me, she will always be my baby sister.

We have never really been close, she would never come to me if something was wrong, I would never go to her, I mean, why would we? We were hardly friends...

Truth is, I love my little sister, always have, always will, fact. She may be a pain in the neck sometimes, but I guess, thats what they're there for, right?

Me and my sister have really different personalities, we like different things, we do different things for fun, we have a completely different outlook on life. To her, I was the"goody goody church girl." To me, she was "the rebel". We didn't really talk much.

So, at the age of 15 when she found out she was pregnant, I was pretty angry and upset, all different thoughts were going through my head, "Why would she throw her life away?!" "She could have so much, why would she do this?!" ...

I guess it was her life, her choice, I needed to get off my high horse, and accept this, but I couldn't, I was upset, and I couldn't control how I felt.

We argued even more now, we'd say mean things to each other. Make each other feel worse about what was going on in our lives.

After many arguments, I think we both realised we needed each other. She could be a great mum, but she was going to need all the help she could get, so why wouldn't I give it to her?

After we realised this, we became closer, we could talk to each other, and we'd actually have a laugh, and talk about the baby and the future. She asked me to be one of her birthing partners, how privileged did I feel? I would be there to help my little sister, and witness the birth of my niece...

But then it went wrong, my sister said she'd not felt the baby move properly in a day or two, so we thought maybe she'd engaged, after all, it was about 2 days before her due date... She went to the hospital with my Mum and Nan, some tests were done, but there was no heartbeat, I was devasteded, how could this happen?
How did my sister feel? Her world had been turned upside down again, someone she loved had gone! She must have felt a billion times worse than me. I knew she needed me, and her family more than ever now...

We all did our best to help each other, but I guess it doesn't really matter what anyone says, the pain wouldn't go away. We just had to love each other, and be there all the time...

I guess the reason I called this post "The reason my sister is one of my heroes" is because I admire her for deciding she would be a mum at 15, it might not of been ideal, but she would do a great job.

I admire her even more for the way she is dealing with the loss of her baby girl. It's a horrible thing to ever have to go through, and something you would not wish upon anyone.

I admire the way she is trying to get her life back on tack, she is at college, doing what she wants to do.

She is still a pain in the neck. But, she's my little sister, and I love her. And I know, she will be a great mum in the future.

I never wrote this to make people feel down, or to make people feel sorry for what my sister, or my family went through. I guess I wrote it because I needed somewhere to put my feelings, and I hope that it doesn't upset anyone, because that was not my intention.

I've asked her permission to write this, but she has no idea what I have written, and I have no idea if she will ever read it...

"Fall down seven times, get up eight." - Japanese Proverb.

Sometimes in life, we're given challenges, things might happen that we might never understand, but we have to try our best, keep our chins up, and charge the mountain. It's easier said than done, but remember, you're never alone, people are there to help you.

Keep trying to be happy...