Christmas Season

Okay, so I haven't posted in a while, this would be for a number of reasons. The main one being that I didn't really have anything positive to say, and since the nature of the Blog was to to show people how I am choosing to be happy, I didn't think it would be right to post.

However, here we are in December, just fourteen days away from Christmas, and I now feel it's time to post.

December is always one of those months where most people are feeling happy, they are enjoying the Christmas season, they feel love, happiness, and joy, and generally just have a good time. This makes me happy, we, as a people, need to feel this more, don't you think?

Although, I'm not going to lie, December is a tricky time for me. Anyone who has ever read one of my earlier posts will know that my niece sadly passed away in December 2010, just five days before Christmas. Understandably, this makes things a little hard. But, I do know I will see my niece again one day, making this feeling a little easier.

Not to dwell too much on this, I want to talk about the true meaning of Christmas, and what it means to me...

As a child, I guess you could say, Christmas is all about the lights, the trees, the toys, Santa and all the little things that go along with it. This is nice, I guess. As a child, it was always really exciting in Christmas Eve, as we, as a family would sit in the front room and sing Christmas Carols and songs really loud, so Santa would come. We would leave him a glass of milk and a mince pie, after all, he did have a long night ahead of him. We would leave come carrots for the Reindeer too. I also remember my younger brothers and sisters having to leave their dummies and bottles on the plate as they got older, for the baby reindeer. It was always a magical feeling waking up and seeing everything we left gone!!

Now that I am older, don't get me wrong, I'm not OLD, but I'm older... Christmas has a different feeling, it is no longer about the gifts, the tree and the lights. Those things are great, and they do bring a lovely atmosphere to Christmas. But I think I've realised Christmas is a little bit more... I personally think it's about catching the joy on others faces as they enjoy the season. It's the feeling of peace you get because nothing else matters on Christmas day.
But most of all, I think we need to remember that Christmas is about Christ. What he did for us, and what he continues to do for us.

I know I can be guilty in going with the whole comercialised aspect of Christmas, but this year, I want to focus on something else.

"Maybe Christmas" he thought, "Doesn't come from a store." "Maybe Christmas... perhaps... Is a little bit more..." The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. Dr Seuss

Merry Christmas Everyone!! :)

Time

Time, it's a funny thing, in other blog posts I've commented, or complained, depends on how it's read I guess, on how I seem to have so little time, like I'm always going from one place to another. Which is true, I often do. 

But now, I've finished Uni for the summer, and it seems like I have all the time in the world, there are very few things that fill up the day. I may have to send a few emails, organise a few activities, or whatever, but that never really fills the whole day. 

They say 'Time flies when you're having fun...' and that I believe, is true. There's lots of times when I'm doing things that have taken up the whole day, yet it feels like I've only been doing them for a few hours. It's funny how people, places, and different activities seem to take time, and make it speed up. 

Yet, there are other times when I could be doing something, and the time seems to go so slooooooooow, I mean, it feels like an eternity for one minute to pass. It's probably just my mind set, maybe I don't really like the task at hand, but it has to be done. 

But, my point is, time, it seems to be going faster and faster. Like do you remember when you were a kid, and it felt like forever for your birthday or Christmas to come around? But, now, it seems to just appear from nowhere. Maybe it's just because I've grown up, well that is probably why. 

But there are other things where time seems to disappear. So two years ago, I started Uni, now I'm chilling at home in what could be my last summer holidays, before I enter the big bad world to work, and whatever else is chucked in my direction. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited to be finishing Uni next year, and I'm excited about where it will take me, but still, it's kinda scary how fast time has gone, and how little time I have to enjoy the summer at home, with nothing too big to worry about.

I'm not complaining about all this free time I have, in fact, it is a welcome break from running around like a headless chicken, and sometimes, I kind of like just doing nothing. However, there is only so much of this you can take. There needs to be some adventure, a story to tell, something that made the summer of 2012 the best yet, that made the hours go fast, and helped me develop a new part of me. I guess that's where my other blog comes in, '50 things to do in 2012', and if times going to keep going fast, I don't have much of 2012 left to complete them. So here I go, to create the memories, and enjoy the summer of 2012. 

Remember, 'time flies when you're having fun' so make sure you have lots of it. There's always a reason to smile, so try and keep it on your face. Whatever you do, time will seem to go too fast, or too slow, so take it in your stride, and enjoy the time that you have.

Behind closed doors.

"Behind closed doors, that's where the truth is, that's where the lies are." - Peter Andre, 'Behind closed doors.' (I know you're all now judging me, please don't...)

They say silence is golden, and in come respects I agree. Like when you come in after a long day, and there's no one home, and the dogs being quiet, and you can just chillax. But in a lot of ways, it really isn't. Silence is bad, it's time we started talking, like properly, none of this "I'll Facebook them." or "I'll drop them a text." it doesn't work, in a society where everything is done through technology, we never really seem to know when people actually need us.

See, I've come to the conclusion that for some people, walking out of the front door in the morning is like becoming a new person, sometimes, I can be one of them, I'm a different me in the house, with my friends, with my family. Don't get me wrong, I don't have multiple personalities (well at least I don't think I do...) I'm just different around different people.

But, my point is, in a society where we take everything written on the Internet or sent to us in a text to be the truth, we've forgotten to show our true emotions, and how we much we actually care for people. Maybe part of the issue is that it's easy to be someone online, and try and keep it up in person, but it's also easy to say something online if we're not going to bump into anyone.

I can't really say want I'm trying to, maybe that's just because there's some parts of me that don't really know what I'm trying to achieve here. But what I do know, is that it's time we started looking at people, and getting to know the 'real' them, the one behind the closed doors

"Behind closed doors, that's where the truth is, that's where the lies are."

Distractions...

Okay, so I figured, I've not written a blog post in a while, actually it's been too long since I last posted, and I wanted to fix this. 

Today I'm supposed to be revising for my exams, well actually I've been doing this for a while, but I always seem to get distracted by... Just stuff. Like right now for example, I came to the library in the hope of beginning some revision, yet, here I am, fixing my blogging habits. But, I think I'll let this one slide.

So why am I blogging about distractions? Well I guess the thought first came into my head after attending a fireside on Sunday. Then, I was casually sitting on the bus on the way to uni yesterday, when I realised how much time I actually allow myself to get distracted, and how pointless some of these distractions can be.

Take social networking sites for example, you know the ones I'm talking about, Facebook and Twitter. Don't get me wrong, I think they're great to keep in touch with people, find out whats going on, and updating people with different information. But, there becomes a stage when they become the distraction from reaching something better. 

See I look at myself, and then I think about my degree, if I put as much time into getting my degree as I do when updating my Facebook page, I think I could do a lot better. In fact, I don't think this, I know it. At the time, Facebook and Twitter seem more interesting, but refreshing the page obviously isn't going to get me anywhere...

There's lots of things that we can get distracted by, and sometimes I think it's good to have the break from the constant study, or constant work on something else, but I guess it's finally clicked with me. I need to learn to just switch off from Facebook and Twitter, the world is not going to end, I'm not going to miss out on something majorly important that I can't find out from others.

Now, I've just picked on Facebook,Twitter and uni because right now they're the things that obviously relate to me, and I am the only one that can fix or change them. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't let life's little distractions take you away from seeing the bigger picture, whether that be getting an education at any stage, passing your driving test, or just reaching that little goal you've had for a while. But, make time for the little distractions, they can be good, and often help you motivated to reach your goal.

Steve Jobs once said "You've got to find what you love... if you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle." - Maybe this is why I keep getting distracted from uni work, I've not yet found what I'm looking for? But, whatever the reason, I'm pretty sure I wont find it on Facebook, or Twitter for that matter.

Anyway, now that all that's off my chest, it's back to revision... What were the theories that underpinned the design of your school? :S

Come what may & love it

Sometimes in life, it feels like all the things that could possibly go bad or wrong, go bad. It's like every single bit of your life is shouting at you to give up. But, why should we? Why would we want to? We have the opportunity to overcome everything that is thrown at us. We can get though our hard times.

I's not always easy to accept something that is happening to us, especially when that thing is something that we never wanted to happen, or something that makes us feel like we can't carry on. So it's not always easy to think "come what may & love it." But, I think we're all capable of giving it a good shot though.

I was recently watching part of a talk given by Joseph B. Wirthlin, he tells us of a few things he had learnt that helped him to "come what may, and love it," the first one he says is:

-Learn to laugh: he says that the next time you're tempted to groan, you might laugh instead.

-Seek for the eternal: our trials may seem difficult to handle at the time, but we can look back and reflect on them. They help to stretch our understanding, build our character, and increase our compassion for others.

-Understand the principle of compensation: he reminds us that every tear we experience today, will be returned with one hundred fold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.  

-Trust the Lord: We are never alone. He wants to be happy, wants us to be successful. Do your best to endure, and leave the rest to Him. 

I know life isn't always easy, I know that it doesn't always go the way we want it to. I do know that we have the choice to change our feelings and the way we deal with things. Sometimes it is easier to say "come what may and love it," than it is to do it. But, I know that as we try to live that way, and try the four suggestions from Elder Wirthlin, things will be easier to handle, and we will have experiences to build on.

I know my blog posts reflect a lot on my religion, but, it is a big part of my life, something that shapes who I am, something that helps me, be me. I am grateful for my membership in the Church, and for all that it helps me with. I know that my redeemer lives, and I know that one day, I will get to meet Him again. I know that one day, all the pains and sorrows we go through now will be gone, but for now, we must learn to "come what may, and love it."

Come What May & Love It - if you want to watch the little talk I was writing about, check out the link...

This is so true, something I think we all need to give a try sometimes...

More awesome than a monkey in a bacon tuxedo...

Okay, so the title of this blog post was stolen from an awesome child out in Texas, but I think it fits in with what I want to blog about today. 

So a little more about the title... Yeah, that's right. You're awesome.

So in this world, it seems as though we're all trying to be number one, we're all trying to fit in and be like everyone else. This is something that I really don't want to be. I want to be proud of who I am, and what I stand for, and right now, I can say this. I am Jade Stoneley, I am happy, and I am proud of who I am.

This world also makes us feel like we're sometimes not good enough to achieve, or that we are not special. But you are. Everyone is special, and everyone matters to someone.

This has got to be one of my favorite stories ever. I think it just shows how important we are. If anyone ever reads these blog posts, please take the time to read The Wemmick Story, it is THE best ever. The Wemmick Story.

As we go throughout the day, I think we need to remember that we are "More awesome than a monkey wearing a tuxedo made out of bacon..." (I actually love that phrase) "And in case you didn't know that's pretty dang sweet."

"'Cuz I define myself and find my beauty in the light He gives.

I'm refined by His divine intentions every day I live.

It doesn't matter what the world believes,

Or what they say that beauty means,

It comes from within,

I want to be beautiful to Him."

Beautiful to Him. 

Have a happy day people!

'Top Team'

You all wish you looked this cool.

Okay, so I'm a day behind on the challenges from Miss Sarah French. Yesterday I was challenged to write a blog post about how me and Sarah make a top team.

Okay, so here it goes... 

I've known Sarah for quite some time now, and we have become like partners in crime. We do a lot of things together, and work on many different tasks. 

Sarah, is an awesome person with a lot of ambition, she has many goals that she wants to reach, and I know she can get there. 

Me on the other hand, I'm just going with the flow, I have my own dreams and things to reach, I just have no real plan to get there yet. But, I will.

The reason I think we manage to make a 'top team' is because we manage to make each other laugh through the tough times, and we manage have a lot of fun, even when things seem hard. 

We know when each other needs some help, and we're both there for each other. I guess I've interpreted the term 'top team' to mean 'top friends'. I have lots of awesome people in my life, and Sarah is just one of them.

To those who make my life happy, who are like the sunshine on a rainy day, I love you guys, and I think you're amazing. Please stay happy, and stay strong. 

Much love to you all :)

The awkward moment when...

Okay, so this week has seen my good friend Sarah set me a new challenge each day. So far I've had to have silent rave, and visit her at work. Today, she asked me to post a blog about how life is one big awkward moment. So, here it goes...

My life is full of those little awkward moments that make you want to scream 'WHY ME?!" So, I figured I'd fill you in on a few of them...

In year 11 at school, I managed to fall over a single pea in the dinner hall, whilst carrying a cake and a bottle of water... I managed to save the cake, drop the water, and lose any dignity that I might of had. It was awkward.

Yes, this is a time when I broke down

So I'm lucky enough to be able to drive, and being a Young Single Adult in my Church, we sometimes travel pretty far around the country to go to dances, or activities. I've been driving for just under two years, and I've never really had too much trouble with the car. Until BAM! It's like 2:30am, I'm mega tired, and I'm dropping people off after going to Birmingham on a Friday night. I go to turn around a corner, and hear a noise that I know a car should NEVER make. I get out, check that I've not hit anything, there's nothing in my wheels or under the car. There wasn't. So I checked my engine wasn't on fire, which it wasn't, it was all good. I go to start the car again, it's a big fat fail, the car wasn't going anywhere.. That's when Candy and Kayla, plus a few drunk people pushed it to Candy's house. As if that wasn't awkward enough, the next day I was towed home by the RAC, and my cousin told me I'd broken the drive shaft. His words were something like... "It's the drive shaft, and I've never seen one as bad as that before." - I guess if you're going to do something, you have to do it properly, right? Anyway, that was awkward.

I study in Liverpool, a city that I really love. I love the feel there, and the fact that it's completely different to being at home. I love the fact that I can be myself there, and that I don't have to fit in. But, last week I was coming home from Uni at about 8:30pm. I got the bus into the city centre, and was walking to my next bus stop, everything was normal. But, then I seen two women, and a man. Well at least I think I did, after hearing one of the ladies talking, I took a second look, and realised it was a man in drag! It was just the best thing I'd seen all day as I'd been in the library ALL day. I wanted to laugh in their face, but had to control myself, I just felt REALLY awkward for them...

LOL at his comment..

Then, yesterday, I got an assignment and some feedback from my tutor. The essay wasn't the best thing I've ever written, there were mistakes all over the place, but that doesn't matter. I think I managed to get the most awkward comment on an essay EVER! I'd been writing about some guy called Oliver Fulton, only I fist called Olivia, and then I referred to him as 'she' throughout the paragraph... My tutors comment: "Oliver Fulton is a man in his 70s." I'm not going to lie, I felt a bit awkward, but, it made me giggle though the seminar.

When I first did the burn..

What it looks like now...

But today has to have seen one of the most awkward, stupid situations I've ever managed to get myself into. I have naturally curly hair, and straighten it regularly. Yesterday, my Nan had asked to borrow my straighteners, so I told her that she needed to be careful because they get really hot, and she could burn herself. Today, I was straightening my hair, but I wasn't really paying as much attention as I should have been, and the next thing, I managed to burn my neck. Now I have two nice burn marks which I can't really hide because my hair isn't long enough. It's awkward, and I now know I'm really stupid...

Life is full of lots of little awkward moments, and at the time we can want the ground to open up and swallow us, or we want to go into hibernation until all is forgotten. But, looking back at these awkward moments, I actually laugh, and think to myself, "If these awkward moments didn't exist, life could actually be pretty lame, and boring." When life throws you an awkward moment, look back at it a few months later, and have a good old laugh! 

In all thy ways acknowledge Him...

Proverbs 3: 5 - 6: - "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; lean not unto thine own understanding. In all they ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."

- Take that to mean what you want...  ^

So recently I've been having a really tough time at Uni, I've had to bite my tongue, and deal with things that I didn't like, and things that I don't fully believe in. I realised that the easiest thing to do would be to just give up, and quit. But I know that 'quitters never win, and winners never quit.' I also realised the real reason why I went to Uni, and that's to help me get the career that I want. But, none of this made it easier. 

With all this going on, I had to deal with assignments, this was the big problem, how could I write an assignment on something I didn't agree with? I know at Uni we're supposed to be able to give our own opinions, but this wasn't the case with these, we had to fit in with what they wanted... That's when I moved into the library.. Well not literally, it just felt like it, I'd be there from 10am and get home any time between 7 and 9pm. They were long days. 

Finishing the assignments, and handing them in was the best feeling ever, it's like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. But, then there was the waiting game. It usually takes around four weeks for the tutors to mark the work, and get them back to us.

Knowing I'd left these assignments quite late to finish, I say quite late, I was literally writing them on the day in a couple of cases, I had decided that I knew I was going to fail, I had done my best for the time that I had, but I just didn't think it was good enough...

But, Friday just gone, we got our results back... I was amazed at what I had got. I had somehow managed to get a B and a B+, something I wasn't expecting, I honestly thought that I would be re-sitting them in the Summer. So I was extremely happy!

But, I know that I couldn't have done this by myself, I know that someone was there to help me. I know that because I was doing my best with what I was left with, and that I was doing my best with my Church callings and other things, I was blessed to be able to pass.

I'm so grateful to have the Gospel in my life, I know what if I'm doing my best, the Lord will magnify my efforts and help me be the best that I can be.
I'm grateful to be able to see things from a different point of view, and I'm so grateful to be able to see different blessings happening because I am trying my best...

"In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."

I get knocked down...

I get knocked down,
But I get up again

You're never going to keep me down...

Without going into too much detail, the beginning of this week has been really hard, things happened, that you wish would never happen to anyone, there seemed to be one problem after another, and like there was never going to be a way out. People were upset, angry, scared, frustrated and tired. There was nothing anyone could really do to make it all go away.. 

But these blogs aren't supposed to be focusing on the negatives, because, lets face it, there's too much of that sort of stuff going on around us...

Something I realised from all the things that have happened this week, is that no matter how many times you get knocked down, you have to bounce back up again. And although at that time, it seems like the hardest thing to do, it is the best thing to do. It doesn't always mean that your problem has gone away, and it doesn't always mean that you're okay, it just means that you're willing to carry on, and try your best...

I realised that I'm lucky enough to have some of the best friends that anyone could wish for, I know that they will always be there if ever I needed them, even at a stupid time in the morning. They don;t even have to say anything, they're just there...

I also realised that my family is one of the most important things to me, and I know that they would do anything for me. I sometimes wish I could take their pains for them, but I guess we all have our own trials, and lessons to be learnt...

This week, I also had my testimony strengthened, I know that I am not alone in anything I do, and that I am loved, I know that what happened this week was a really hard thing to go through, but one day, it will all be okay...

"How you deal with life's trials is part of the development of your faith. Strength comes when you remember that you have a divine nature, and inheritance of infinite worth."

Smile, it's sunny outside :)

When life gives you lemons...

Sometimes it feels as though everything is on top of you, and that there is nowhere to go, sometimes it feels like things just keep getting thrown at you, and there is nothing you can do to stop them.

All throughout January, that's how I felt, like there was nowhere to go, and like the only thing for me to do was to jump on a plane, and escape my life... But, I realised, that is just obviously not possible, I have responsibilities, things that I need to, places I need to be, and people that I could be helping...

I remembered a saying: "When life gives you lemons, make grape juice..." This got me thinking, right at that moment things seemed too bad, like I couldn't cope, but, I had the choice to do something about it, I had the choice to turn my sour lemons into sweet grapes... 

Something that I do, is I try and do too much, for some reason, my life got to the stage where I was trying to do fifty things during the day, when I only had time for five really. But, I was lucky enough to go on a Missionary Seminar, when I found something in the scriptures, in Doctrine and Covenants 10:4. It says "Do not run faster or labor more than you have strength and means provided to enable you to translate; but be diligent unto the end." - This is talking about scriptures being translated, now, obviously I don't translate scriptures, but I do sometimes think that I can do more than I am able, which in the long run, turns out to be bad for me, and those I am trying to help...

In order to turn my sour lemons into sweet grapes, I listened to the council I read in the scriptures, and decided that I would do the things I was capable of, and be strong and diligent, and then try again the next day.

I also realised that sometimes we have to leave our problems on the floor at the front door, even if it's just for a day, this can help us remember how great life actually is. Picking them back up the next day is pretty lame, but, it's life, and I guess sometimes we have just got to deal with it. 

Life is beautiful, it's exciting, it's hard, but no one ever said it would be easy. There are things that will make it sour, and there are things that will make it sweet...

"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice" Then, when everyone asks how you did it, surprise them with how sweet things can actually be...

Footprints

"Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt.

Something I learnt over the weekend is that we can have a lasting effect on peoples lives. Whether this is through being an example, or just being a friend. Whether it is teaching someone something new, or helping them remember something... Sometimes we don't even realise the effect we are having, sometimes we will never know.

There are many people who have walked in and out of my life, people that have taught me so much about myself, and who I am, people that have taught me things that I needed to know, people that were just there to make the world a better place. Some of these people are still in my life, some of them are not. But, I know that one day, I will be able to thank each and every one of them, even though they might they might not have an idea of what they did for me...

There is a poem about footprints in the sand, and although the poem is talking about the Lord, I think we can make it about us, we can be the footprints...

One night I had a dream--
I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord
and across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints,
one belonged to me and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
and saddest times in my life.
This really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you would walk with me all the way,
but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life
there is only one set of footprints.
"I don't understand why in times when I needed you most,
you should leave me."
The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child,
I love you and I would never, never leave you
during your times of trial and suffering.
"When you saw only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."

~ Author unknown...

Without friendship, our lives would be pretty lame, without friendship, things would be so different...

Remember that "Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart." And be the person that carries someone else in their times of need...

Opinions

I can be an opinionated person, sometimes too opinionated.

I'm the type of person who doesn't like to admit to when I'm wrong, granted there are certain times and certain people that I will back down to, but there are others I wont.

I know that its wrong, and that I need to grow up sometimes, but when you feel so strongly about something, it's hard not to want everyone else to know about it.

Recently I've been clashing with a certain person, probably because they're just like me, they have their opinions and can't always see things from another's point of view. We're just human, so this is bound to happen. But, I can't stand it when I know I'm right, and they won't see my point of view.

I've been feeling a bit down about Uni, I know why I'm there, and I know what my end goal is, but right now, I'm really not enjoying the course that I'm doing, I don't like the way I am talked at, rather than talked to. The tutors have their opinions, and that is fine, I can respect them, and listen to them, but that does not mean I have to have the same opinion as them. Being told my opinion was wrong, and that it will change by the end of the degree made me feel kind of angry, or maybe frustrated. How can someone tell you your opinion is wrong?! It made me not want to attend my classes, I really wanted to drop out. But, I knew I couldn't.

Tonight I was lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time, I was lucky enough that someone had taken the opportunity to talk to me, and ask me how I was getting on. I was lucky enough that he knew exactly how I felt, and what I was going through. He seemed to know what it was like to be me. He knew exactly what I needed to hear, he gave me some great advice, which I really needed to to hear, and that I'm going to put into practice.

Having an opinion is not wrong, in fact, it's great to be able to express your own views. Listening to someone else's opinion can sometimes be hard, but, it is something we all have to do. Accepting that you might be wrong in some situations can be really challenging, but doing so, can help you become the bigger person. Sometimes we might just need to bite our tongue, and let others way what they think, knowing you won't get the same opportunity. 

"There are many different ways to see the same thing, and each of them may be correct if seen from the right perspective." - Olga Bogdsahina

^ That is something I think we can all work on...^

Reflection...

Last night was one on of the most amazing nights ever. Sounds silly, because to most people it probably sounds like I didn't do anything, but to me, it was the best thing I could of done.

Monday night, I just sat on my bed, it was the first night I actually had time to just sit, and breathe, it felt amazing. I wasn't really thinking about anything, but I was thinking about everything, if that makes sense? Sometimes there's so many different thoughts running through your head, you don't actually know what you're thinking... 

But anyway, as I sat there, quietly, no music, no T.V. no thinking about assignments, my mind focused on the Temple. It was weird. I just had to go, and if it wasn't a Monday, I would of went. So I just pondered for a minute, "why did I need to go the Temple?" I couldn't think of a reason, so I left it, got into bed, and relaxed. Amazing.

Then, on Tuesday, during institute, I thought the same thing, I need to go to the Temple. Again, I thought, "why do I need to go to the Temple? I'm not going to be able to go in..." But, I knew I had to go.

Wednesday, the only day left in the week where I didn't have plans. The day I had to go to the Temple. I text Sarah, and told her what I was thinking, and she was up for it. So, with a little thought, and being a bit spontaneous, we got in the car, and went to the Temple. All the way there, we were trying to think why? But, it didn't matter, we were on our way. 

Sarah and I went to get some food at the pub across the road (Yes, two Mormons in a pub...), which was actually really funny, we talked, and we laughed, we mainly laughed. It felt good, I laughed so hard, I was almost crying, it felt so good to just do that. The food was good too.

After our little trip to the pub, we went to The Temple, we had a wee wonder around the grounds, took a few pictures. Then we found a bench, and we just sat. We kinda talked a little, but we mainly just sat in silence. It was so peaceful, so quiet. Time had actually stopped, for that hour or two we sat there, nothing else in the WHOLE world mattered. It was beautiful. 

On reflection, the only reason that I can think of why I had to dive to the Temple was because I needed to feel that peace, that quietness, the calmness that is felt there. I don't think I've ever felt it anywhere else. It's a hard feeling to describe, and I guess it's probably something you have to experience for yourself.

I'm so grateful that I live close enough to the Temple to just drive there in under an hour. I'm grateful for the spirit that is felt there, and for the peacefulness it brings to my life. I'm grateful that Sarah could come with me, and I'm pretty sure there was a reason she had to come too.

Sitting at the Temple made me remember that phrase from The Lion King - "Hakuna Matata" which is Swahili, and when literally translated, it means "There are no worries." 

My life was pretty stressful, it was too busy, I made it that way, but I wouldn't change it, and I might sometimes complain, but, I'm going to try and remember "Hakuna Matata," because there doesn't need to be any worries.

"Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men." ~ John F. Kennedy.

Success...

"In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure." - Bill Cosby.

In life we face many different challenges, some big, some small. To others they may seem simple, but to you they seem huge. 

We turn our attention to many different things, they might be finishing your G.C.S.E's at school, doing your A Levels, or your college course. It might be getting your Uni Degree, it might be learning to drive, getting a new job, or becoming a parent. These things can be difficult, these things can make us scared, they can make us feel like we aren't good enough to reach our goals.

We might be scared that we might fail, or that we might let others down. But, the truth is, if we try our best, it will be enough. Nobody else can tell you that you wont achieve, or that you didn't do good enough. 

Sitting in the library at Uni today, yes on a Saturday, I was thinking, it would be easy to just finish this essay with what I've got written down now, submit it on Monday, and then just resit it in the Summer. But, then I realised, I'm just scared that I will fail, when really, I should be thinking "I got this!"

Right now my desire for success is greater than my fear of failure, I know I can do this degree, and I know I can reach my goals.

One of the main reasons I wan't to be a teacher is because too often are people told they aren't good enough, that they wont be able to do something. But who are they to tell you that? And how will you ever know if you can do something, unless you try?

I want to be able to tell my students that they ARE good enough, that they WILL reach their goals, they just have to believe in themselves, and let go of their fears.

I know where I want to go with my life, and I kinda know how I'm going to get there, but different things might happen, and things might change. But, I know that if I let go of my fears, I will achieve.

"In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure." - Bill Cosby.

Remember, your best is your best, and you are good enough to do what you want.

Count your many blessings...

"Regardless of our circumstances, each of us has much for which to be grateful if we will but pause and contemplate our blessings." Said Thomas S. Monson. I read this quote, and wondered, how often do I actually stop, and think about the blessings I have in my life? A quick reflection makes me think, never! Well, not enough anyway. I have so much to be grateful for. 

In church, we have a Hymn called "Count your many blessings" which starts like this:

When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,

When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,

Count your many blessings; name them one by one,

And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

Count your blessings;

Name them one by one.

Count your blessings;

See what God hath done.

Count your blessings;

Name them one by one.

Count your many blessings;

See what God hath done

Today, whilst I'm sitting in uni, thinking about assignments, and other things, my mind began to wonder. Partly because I get bored easily, and I get distracted, but, partly because I was thinking about things I'm grateful for, and things that make me happy. So I thought, I'd count them. Clearly I'm not going to write them all down, that would take too long, and it would be boring...

But here we go:

1. I'm grateful for my testimony
2. I'm grateful for my family
3. I'm grateful for my friends
4. I'm grateful that I'm at uni
5. I'm grateful that I can drive, and that my Nan lets me drive her car
6. I'm grateful that I have a roof over my head
7. I'm grateful that I have people who support me, and listen to me rant
8. I'm grateful for my iPhone (It's awesome!)
9. I'm grateful I can be my own person, no matter what other people say
10. I'm grateful people respect my opinions
11. I'm grateful I'm lucky enough to know how to read, and write
12. I'm grateful for my trials, even though I hate them when I'm going through them
13. I'm grateful for how much my Mum and Dad went without, so that I could have
14. I'm grateful for those moments when I can't stop laughing
15. I'm grateful for the memories of the past
16. I'm grateful for those people who taught me so much about myself, ans those that taught me in general
17. I'm grateful for music, without it, these trips in the library would feel like death
18. I'm grateful for the sunshine, it makes everything look better 
19. I'm grateful for my callings at church, the primary and the YSA are ace!
20. I'm grateful for my smile...

There are loads more things that I could be grateful for, some of them being more important than others, but nevertheless, I'm grateful for them. I am lucky to live the life I live. 

I know I'm not always a happy chappy, but there are always reasons to be, so I'm going to try better, and I'm going to take more moments to think about why I'm happy, and what I'm grateful for, especially in those hard times. 

"Regardless of our circumstances, each of us has much for which to be grateful if we will but pause and contemplate our blessings." - Thomas S. Monson.

A little challenge for us all... Smile like you mean it... :)

100 mph

This week has been one of those crazy weeks, you know the ones where everything feels like its going about one hundred miles an hour, and if you blinked, you'd miss it? We all have them, and sometimes there's nothing we can do, apart from deal with it.. That's just the way it is.

This week, I feel like I've not had chance to sit down and just relax, it's been crazy! I wouldn't have it any other way though, I might get a bit grumpy, and majorly tired, so I apologise if you're someone that I rant at or something, I don't mean it, its the lack of sleep. :)

But, on one of my journeys home this weekend, I wasn't paying too much attention to the speed I was going, and when I looked down I was going WAY over the speed limit... I was on the motorway, so I'll leave it up to your imagination to decide what speed I was going...

But anyway, as I looked at how fast I was going it reminded me of my life, I am always rushing around like a headless chicken, with a 'todo' list that's longer than my arm. There's no point in complaining about it, I just deal with it. I kinda makes life more interesting, and the things have to be done... 

Then today, I was listening to the radio on the way to church, it was the only thing keeping me awake if I'm honest.. But, as I listened to the lyrics of a song, I realised, sometimes we just don't take a minute to be happy, and we don't take a minute to just smile, we focus on all the things we have to be doing, or on things that aren't too important, like money and all that jazz...

If we just took a minute to breathe, and to reflect, and to smile, life would be so much easier, none of the things we were caught up in would matter, well at least for few minutes anyway...

Jessie J's Price Tag -

Seems like everybody’s got a price,
I wonder how they sleep at night.
When the tale comes first,
And the truth comes second,
Just stop, for a minute and
Smile
Why is everybody so serious!
Acting so damn mysterious
You got your shades on your eyes
And your heels so high
That you can’t even have a good time.
Everybody look to their left (yeah)
Everybody look to their right (ha)
Can you feel that (yeah)
Well pay them with love tonight

It’s not about the money, money, money
We don’t need your money, money, money
We just wanna make the world dance,
Forget about the Price Tag
Ain’t about the (ha) Cha-Ching Cha-Ching.
Aint about the (yeah) Ba-Bling Ba-Bling
Wanna make the world dance,
Forget about the Price Tag.

Sometimes life is busy, sometimes life is crazy, sometimes life is going at a pace that's too fast, but... "Just stop for a minute, and smile."

So this picture seems a bit random, but we all just stopped for a minute, and smiled.

I'm grateful I have my little sister and brothers in my life.

They make me smile!



Determination.

According to the Oxford Dictionary, determination means:

"The quality of being determined; firmness of purpose."

Today I went back to my old high school, it was pretty weird. Walking towards the school gates by myself, it felt like it was my first day in school, I don't know why, it just did.

I walked into the reception area, and the lady at the desk looked at me like she recognised me, but she asked me my name, and who I wanted to see, so I told her, then it clicked, she remembered who I was.

I waited a few minutes for the school bell to go before I went to see my teachers. Hearing that bell again was so weird.

I walked into the classroom, and the teacher looked pretty happy to see me. I don't know why. But we began to chat about how I was getting on at Uni and things, and then she had to go to a meeting. So I thought I'd have a look if any of my other teachers were around. I walked up the stairs, and went into a classroom, but there was no teacher there. But then she came through the door. It was obvious that she wasn't expecting anyone to be there, and she looked at me with a pretty confused face. After a few seconds, she realised who I was, and we began chatting about uni, and other things. Then she had to go to a meeting.

Before I went home, I thought I'd have a look for my old head of year, I took a wonder around "blue block," but he wasn't there, so I thought I'd go home. Then I bumped into him, about to tell someone off, nothing ever changes, eh?
Anyways, we walked towards the main reception whilst chatting, I had the same conversation with him that I'd has with the others...
"How are you getting on at uni?" "Whats the travel like?" "Are you experiencing Uni life?" "Do you enjoy what you are doing?"

Truth is, I'm getting on fine at uni, I'm managing to get good grades, and I know if I actually put some effort into the assignments, I'd do better.
The travel can be bad sometimes, one and a half, to two hours on a bus can be pretty boring.

I'm experiencing Uni life the way I want, I go out with my friends, I feel the stress of assignments, and I have fun!
But, I don't enjoy part of my course, an opinion is forced upon me, and I don't fully agree with it.

Telling him this, he said: "Things can be hard, but you've always had determination, and you've always will."

Recently I've been thinking that I didn't want to teach, and that I wouldn't be good at it despite what people keep telling me. But walking around school, and talking to my teachers, I realised that teaching has always been my dream, I have always wanted to make a difference in people's in lives, and at the risk at sounding like a geek, I want to help people enjoy school, because I did.

We can all achieve different things, we just have to keep our determination, and have a "firmness of purpose."

Steve Jobs once said: "You've got to find what you love... if you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle."

I think I've found what I love, and I'm going to keep determined, and reach my goal.

When things get tough, keep being positive, and keep being strong. You can achieve.

You are you, be proud.

Recently, I've been thinking about who I am, and what I stand for.

I am, a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister, an auntie, a cousin, a niece, a friend. I  am a University student,  I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I am a teacher to my peers, I am a teacher to children.

I am proud of who I am, I am proud of what I have achieved, and I am proud of what I stand for.

I'm not better than anyone else, I don't really have any talents that I can share with anyone, I'm not a cleaver person, I'm not the loudest person, but I'm not too shy either, but this is me, and I'm proud of this.

I don't fit that picture that the world has of people, my hair isn't perfect, I don't have a size zero figure, and my clothes aren't the same as most people's, but that doesn't matter, why would I want to be the same as everyone else?

I hate the way the world makes people feel, it makes people feel like they aren't good enough to achieve what they want, they don't look the same, so they don't fit in, or they are ugly.

We were all made to be different, if we all looked and acted the same, imagine how boring the world would be?

It is sometimes easier said than done, but we need to be proud of who we are, and what stand for. We need to stop thinking we have to fit this 'perfect' view of people, because no one is perfect.

We need to remember that we have each other for help when we are down, and we need to remember that we are loved.

I am lucky to know that the worth of souls is great in the sight of God, this makes me happy, this makes me proud of who I am. I know I'm not perfect, I'm a long way from it, but I'm trying to be the best that I can, and I'm proud of this.

The reason I wrote this post is because reading other people's blogs, and chatting with people has made me realise we can all feel this, it can come in forms of loneliness, or feeling worthless, and like no one cares. But I care, and other people care.

I don't really know who reads these posts, if any one does, and I know not everyone shares my religion, but I thought I'd finish with one of my favourite scriptures...

"Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God." - Doctrine and Covenants 18:10

So when you feel like no one cares, remember He does.

Be Strong. Be true. Be you.

But most of all, try to be happy.

Farmer Ted

Farmer Ted is 13 years old, and has been one of my best friends for as long as I can remember.

Farmer Ted pretty much always has a smile on his face, which makes me smile, and he has a wicked sense of humour which makes me laugh.

He is kind of at that age where hugs are for losers, but not him, he will always give me a hug, and he has no problem with coming up to my room for a little chat and a giggle.

We have so much fun together, we don't even have to be doing anything in particular, just being together is fun!

Sure there are times when Farmer Ted is annoying, when I wish he would leave me alone to sleep, or let me concentrate on something that I was doing.

But I wouldn't change him for the world, he knows how to pick me up when I feel down, he knows I am always there for him, and I know he is always there for me.

I know I don't tell people enough, and I don't actually remember the last time I told him this, but I love Farmer Ted, and the happiness he brings into my life.

Farmer Ted is my little brother, and he isn't a farmer, but he is one of the coolest, most thoughtful people I know. He is a great example to me, and he probably doesn't even know it.

I guess we can't pick our family, but we can pick our friends, I just got lucky that my  little brother is both. I love spending time with him, and look forward to our little road trip at the weekend.

My brother makes me happy. Try to find someone that makes you happy, it makes life easier...

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival." - C. S. Lewis"